Saturday, 16 January 2016

Well then, here we are, more than half way through the first month of the New Year. How's it hanging with you? I've a few things  that I need to get off my (ample, but clear) chest. Firstly, why are dates like buses? None for weeks then a whole gang/herd/murder/flock of them turns up. This adds a slight complication to what was supposed to be a simple, easy experience. Do you turn all the dates down until you've had the first one and then put the second possible date from the first candidate on hold until you've experienced the first date with the second candidate, and then the third and so on, until you've dated all of them for a first date, then eliminate the not so good ones before embarking on that second date? If so, what makes a not so good date as compared to a good date? See my write up for a 'shocker' of a date if you need help finding a stunningly low benchmark for this. Is it the lack of physical attraction? The lack of humour? The lack of connection or spark. The wish to kill yourself in order to end the date. See my write up for a 'shocker' of a date. It's all so confusing.
My last relationship was a total fluke in terms of meeting them but turned into a head fuck cunningly disguised as a rescue. Clever to the point of evil genius. No, just evil. Yes, I am BITTER! Fuck off!
So, a second date has been sampled. A different first date is arranged for tomorrow and then another different first date for next weekend. What's a girl to do? The second date was lovely. Good company, felt safe, treated like a laydee, nice venue for lunch, relaxed, friendly, easy...but no chemistry. It may bloom but I don't think so.There are issues regarding distance, living arrangements, the PAST. Oh God. The PAST. It just keeps raising its ugly head (no, its doesn't need an apostrophe because its a possessive of an inanimate form or idea). There is no spark, no sexual jolt or surge of interest. Maybe I should let that go? Maybe I shouldn't be looking for something that might replace what was felt at a different time in my life. Settle for less? I could. I suppose. I'm not going to though, because I'm worth the trouble and the time it may take to be happy. Without resorting to hurting someone in a slow and calculating way, Now, THAT would make me happy!

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